What LC/DC were doing in the Corinthian Cup is anybodys guess. A two season cup for the Corinthian Elite was hardly likely to be won by 2000-1 outsiders Chiesa, but between schoolboy giggling and severe reprimands from league officers at Octobers Catholic club bash, La Chiesa accidently ended up volunteering to take part in the competition when Adam Jeffers put his hand up to ask Barrie Fox if he could use the gents. It has been a rollercoaster ride full of excitement ever since - from the first round bye right up to the second round exit, the part timers from Division Three have been been through the full range of emotions.

 

Missing Danny Trew and Warren Hardwick, Chiesa put out a team that comprised city financiers, fork lift truck drivers, a chippy, two builders and a domestic appliance retailer. A far cry from their high flying opponents, some of whom earn in one week what it takes an LC/DC midfielder the best part of two years to accumalate. But maybe the cup would work its magic, blah blah blah, David vs Goliath etc etc, remember Ronnie Radford zzz zzz zzz

 

 

The deadlock was broken on fifteen minutes when a long throw from the right was headed into his own net by Chiesa skipper Darren Hodsoll. Groans! Terry Kerly was being left exposed at right back time and time again as Cambourne's tricky left winger was given free rein to run at him, while Steve McCarthy and Hodsoll were finding hard to cope with the aeriel prowess of Cambournes impressive number five. Midfielders Iain Gay, playing throught the pain barrier as Chiesa's subs had yet to arrive, and Samuel Knowles were struggling to get to grips with their counterparts, though Chris Young was holding steady in the gap between defence and midfield. Adam Jeffers had a thankless task in the lone role up front.

 

Although they could have been several goals behind, La Chiesa were still trailing by just the one, and on the half hour they showed a glimpse of what they are capable of. Iain Gay sent Jonny Gray clear on the right with a clever outside of the boot pass and when his cutback eluded all in the Cambourne area, Colin Williams was on hand to fizz a shot just wide. Williams also had a couple of opportunities to test the keeper from free kicks, but his eye just wasn't in today. Some encouragement for LC/DC, but three goals in the last ten crazy minutes of the half put paid to any thoughts of a cup upset.

 

The first of the trilogy of hammer blows was the best goal of the match. Cambourne knocked the ball around for what seemed like an eternity as Chiesa chased shadows, and when that dangerous winger cut into the box and fired a low cross along the goal line, the unfortunate Williams' attempted clearance flew into the net. An own goal apiece for the Chiesa full backs cruelly described as 'about as much use as ashtrays on motorbikes' by a fellow Corinthian team... ah dont worry boys, we love you all the same!

 

It was three nil not long after when a Cambourne midfielder was allowed all the time in the world to line up a long range effort. His shot was on target but it should have been an easy save for Mark Harris, only for the Chiesa cat to take his eye off the ball as it rolled past him. A routine ball into the box was not challenged by the home defence minutes later, and Cambournes centre forward tucked away the flick on for 4-0.

 

Half time saved Chiesa from more punishment, and the riot act was read. It wasn't as though they were unaware that they were facing superior opposition, yet the Hornchurch Rossoneri's attitude was all wrong. It was criminal that the red and blacks were not matching the effort shown by opponents from three divisions above... Cambourne were knocking the ball around unchallenged at times as the home side showed too much respect and not enough desire or belief in their own ability... Chiesa needed reminding that these were Sunday morning footballers like themselves they were up against -  they were being treated as if they were seasoned pro's...

 

Iain Gay could continue no longer and was replaced by Cy Taylor as Chiesa reverted to 4-4-2, and Taylor had the chance to cut the deficit in the opening moments of the half. Knowles' cross from the left had the keeper flapping, but C-Y could only spoon the ball over the bar with the goal at his mercy.. we'll put it down to lack of a proper warm up...

 

It was at the other end that most of the action was taking place though, as Cambourne, despite taking their foot off the gas alittle, dominated posession. Dennis Peck took out Cambournes right back, forcing the visitors to substitute possibly their least effective player going forward (aim for their main man next time Pecky), and with better finishing they could have been out of sight. When they did make it five, it was again in comical fashion. A corner swung in from the right was bundled over the line by a combination of Hodsoll and Harris, and although it was cleared before it hit the net, there was no disputing the ball crossed the line. A third own goal... tch tch tch 

 

Harris had a let off when he misjudged a cross that bounced back into his arms off the post, and that was typical of the general sloppiness of Chiesa's play. Foul throws, suicidal passes across their own box, needless taking on of opponents when a simple pass was on... Schoolboy errors  from players who should know better, it was excruciating at times.

 

Knowles took over free kick duties when Jeffers was fouled twenty five yards out, but saw his shot fly just wide, before sending another effort over the bar in the style of Jonny Wilkinson. It was six-nil soon after when Harris was outjumped by a Cambourne attacker who nodded in from about an inch. Harris felt he was fouled, but referee Goddard was having none of it, and this was turning into a rout.

 

The inevitable Sunday morning handbags were reached for towards the end. First, a late tackle from Jonny Gray on Wednesdays left back sparked a pitch invasion from their linesman - what did he really think he was going to achieve? Then, when Knowles aimed a 'Beckham v Simeone' style kick at a defender who had grown attached  to his leg, all hell broke loose. Having been booked for dissent moments earlier, the Chiesa boss was slightly fortunate to stay on the pitch, although the predictable over reaction from the opposition didnt help. Dont these boys know of another way to get rid of all that testosterone???

 

In the final minute Chiesa had the chance to grab a consolation when typical pesky hard work from Jeffers forced a foul from the replacement right back, and a penalty was awarded. Dennis Peck's penalty kick was woeful, weak and straight at the keeper but he followed up to score his fifteenth of the season whilst at the same time having Chiesa's first and second shots on target of the match.

 

Oh yeah, Desperate Dan in the Cambourne midfield asked us to point out that they were in reverse gear on their way to this victory - a nice touch - humility is a rare thing in sport these days... and even rarer in Cambourne Wednesday's neck of the woods it would seem. (Where did they get that ridiculous name from anyway?) Of course, there is only one thing worse than a bad loser...

 

Highlight of the day for many Chiesa players was late on when Cambourne's 'Alan' held on to the ball on the right wing for too long and prompted a team mate to shout... "ALAN! ALAN!! ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN, ALAN!!!" Pure Partridge! Knowing Me Knowing You episode three if you don't know...