Where on earth did you get the idea to call yourself La Chiesa Del Corno? What
the hell does it mean? - Jose, Chelsea.
Well Jose, we wanted to be called 'Hornchurch United' after the town that we grew up in, but
the Essex FA were opposed to the idea as they already had nine teams with Hornchurch in their name and they can't count
to ten. We had the idea to translate 'Hornchurch' into various languages, and the Italian 'La Chiesa Del
Corno' - The Church of the Horn - just seemed to sum up what we were all about.
I just love your red and black shirts - so superior to anything else you see on a Sunday
morning. But what made you choose these colours? - Barbara, Windsor.
Red and black are Hornchurch's colours. The cricket teams sweaters have red and black
trim, while the imposters that play on Saturdays at Hornchurch Stadium also adopt this colour scheme. The fact
that we look just like AC Milan when we take the field also helps keep the Italian connection going,
Perusing the 'Player Profiles', I notice several of the team adopt the skinhead
haircut. If some of the lads feel folically challenged, why not tease a couple of strands across the forehead,
giving the impression of a full head of hair? - Bobby, Charlton
Thanks Bobby, I'll pass that advice on to the relevant individuals.
Anyone who's anyone seems to be wearing your LC/DC t-shirts, but I can't find anywhere that sells them. Where can I get
one? I simply must be part of the in crowd? Coleen, Manchester
They are available, at the scandalously cheap price of £10, by emailing us, phoning Chiesa HQ or visiting our
boutique in Rumford Shopping Hall.
When was La Chiesa's first match and where did it take place? - Steven, Los Angeles
Although we played a couple of friendlies at Aveley's Mill Field in the summer of 2003, La
Chiesa's first official match was on September 14th 2003 versus Woodford Hammers at Avondale Road, Loughton. Unfortunately
it ended in a 3-1 defeat for the Hornchurch Rossonieri.
Who was the first player to score for LC/DC? - Kurt, Seattle
Gary Higgs scored our consolation goal in the aforementioned match against Woodford - a sensational
25 yard strike.
How do you go about joining La Chiesa? I am a keen footballer in my mid thirties who has played
at a decent standard for almost twenty years, and would love to end my playing career at such a cultured outfit.
- Roy, Manchester
It would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a person who
has not been recommended by an existing Chiesa player, or who admits to liking Man Utd, to join our squad. Sorry Roy,
why don't you try Celtic?
Who was the first Chiesa player to be shown a red card, and why? - Graham, Tring
Skipper Darren Hodsoll was the first of the gang to be dismissed. 'Hods' saw red in our
first home league match, versus Ascot, for foul and abusive language towards the referee - such a silly boy. He has since
been joined in the sin bin by Warren Hardwick (foul and abusive language), Samuel Knowles (second yellow card), Dean
Jordan (foul and abusive language), Mark Harris (cynical professional foul), and John Riley (deliberate handball).
Why is Adam Jeffers known as 'The String'? - Gerry, Isleworth
Watch a game and you will see why! Cockney rhyming slang is rife in this part of the world, Gerry, and
people like Jeffers are known as 'Strings' because they are pests - 'String vest' = 'Pest'. Enough said.
Why don't Chiesa have a sponsor on their shirts? - Guy, South Kensington
La Chiesa have decided to follow the lead set by FC Barcelona in Spain not to
allow a logo to adorn our shirts, so that we are free to do whatever we feel without the worry of pen pushers
at our corporate sponsors getting on our backs. Look what happened to Waynes World when Noah van der Hoff got involved.
Why is Matt Gillham occasionally referred to as 'Edson'? - Matt, Hornchurch
When the younger of the brother's Gillham puts his mind to it, he has been known to display
skills similar to those of 'Edson Arantes do Sacrimento' - a Brazilian who advertises Viagra.
I am an 18 year old trainee beautician at Havering College and would like to know where La
Chiesa players hang out on a Saturday night. I have two dozen single friends who are all massive LC/DC fans, and between us
we have a crush on every player. We would love to meet up and have some fun, please tell me which clubs you go to! -
Chloe, Brentwood
Sorry Chloe, but the dedication of the La Chiesa squad is such that no player is ever seen out
socialising the night before a match.
