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Larv It!
Soccer AM... when you don't have a computer handy, it is without doubt
the best place for Banter... except for that awful Barry - only the kind of person who laughs at shite like Wedding Crashers
could find him funny... but by far and away one of the most amusing things to be shown on TV in recent years is
the Eastenders sketch - click below to 'ave a butchers... (30.03.06)
Do you larv it?
I will go to League Meetings, I WANT to go to League Meetings...
It is stating the obvious I know, but anti social behaviour has
to be dealt with... there is no place in decent society for foul and abusive language, petty squabbling, public
urination, etc etc...
AND THERE IS NO PLACE IN SUNDAY MORNING FOOTBALL FOR IT EITHER! About a
year ago a certain La Chiesa player was dismissed from the field of play for an act that was gruesome from someone so handsome,
and his team mates had no sympathy for him. But, on leaving the Essex Sunday Corinthian League's Behavioural Correction
Centre for the last time a fortnight ago having completed a year long course, the player who was once the nemesis of all men
in black, not to mention opponents with skinheads, made this statement... "Playing Sunday morning football is about being
charming, which so very few people are these days. I think its nice to instill these words into my team mates brains and,
who knows, it may rub off on opponents. We dont have to be violent, or ugly or arrogant. Just be charming... and what a pleasant
world that would be"
Stan, Baz & the gang's electrodes have succeeded where dozens
have tried and failed! (15.03.05)
Corinthian League Counselling...
If Sunday morning refereeing is doing your head in, get some FRANK
advice on how to talk to them. For free confidential officiating information and advice, you can talk to Corinthian League
referee secretary FRANK MARSH.
You may be dishing out yellow cards for dissent more frequently
than you used to... it could be you have moved on to issuing straight reds for innocuous challenges. You may find yourself
giving out a stern lecture and then forgetting why you whistled in the first place...
Or maybe you've got a referee friend who has started using his whistle
more regularly... behaving strangely, giving a goal kick when it should be a corner, or refusing to acknowledge a linesmans
flag when it's staring him in the face? Don't run away from the problem - FRANK's only a call or an email away... (www.escfl.co.uk - Referee's Section)
FRANK's here for you - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you cant
talk to the players, talk to FRANK (01.03.06)
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There is an Exception to Every Rule...
We have been cruel to referees on many occasions here at La Chiesa Del
Corno. Admittedly more often after we have LOST, the man in black has been called all the names under the sun (too rude
to publish, I would rather die than allow profanities on this site). Comparing them to headmasters, traffic wardens, etc etc
oh it's been such fun. Why do they do it we wonder, its just SO uncool. And then someone comes along and changes everything...
Not Dave Rivett... No No Not Lloyd Wood, come on now, be serious!! No, it's not even the good looking young
bloke in charge our of 7-3 win over Digital Line back in December, but you're on the right track with that
one... I speak of Gianluca Paparesta. Check out his website, below.... What an absolute legend! With
his leading man looks and general air of suave sophistication, he is often referred to as the La Chiesa of referees back in
his hometown of Bari. He must be the inspiration for all Corinthian refs... now I understand! Mind you, if you come across
a referee who says Gianluca is not their inspriration, feel free to traffic warden them off, and throw in a "picked on at
school" from me... (07.03.06)
The Coolest Ref Ever...
The Modern Day Crucifixion???
It is the firmly held belief of many millions of people that the son
of God, Jesus Christ no less, died for our sins just under 2000 years ago. Although he commited no crime, the 'special
one' of his day was forced to carry a heavy wooden cross for several miles until he was near exhaustion and the nailed to
it until he died an unjust death. Just for preaching forgiveness and compassion.... Anyhow, the point I am trying to make
is, next time we have to carry the posts across Cottons Park and put the nets up on a cold Sunday morning, I don't want to
hear any complaining... Remember, there is always somebody worse off than yourself... (02.03.06)
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Hong Kong Pacino!
Following our recent victory over May & Bakers, some of the lads were
pondering life's mysteries. Cy Taylor was puzzled as to how cranes got up in the sky (load of hydraulics apparently C-Y),
Adam Jeffers put forth the proposition that we should go Bill watching with Bird Oddie, but Dennis Peck topped the lot
by asking whether Al Pacino sung lead vocals on the Hong Kong Phooey theme tune! Sounds preposterous I
know, but he may be on to something... click on the above picture of Phooey and decide for yourself... (07.03.06)
The Joke Is On Us...
How embarrassing! We pay these bloody builders a kings ransom to get our
new stadium ready for next season and, not only do they fail to deliver the goods on time, they use our wonga as stake money
to bet on it not being completed. So unless we can find a different venue, and quick, another season at Cottons Park beckons
for La Chiesa. Bookies Paddy Power were also caught with their pants down as they offered 13/8 about the multi million pound
Hornchurch Stadium not being finished in time for our first Corinthian League game of 06/07 - the sly old dogs working
on site bit their hands off. Grrr! Any suggestions lads??? (02.03.06)
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