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Rivetting!
Officials for Sunday's match have been appointed, and the lucky man who
gets to suffer the abuse when Chiesa fall a goal behind is Dave Rivett. Dave, who will be assisted by Tom Quatermaine
and Terry Turner, was at home watching teletext when the news flashed up... "I was astonished!", he told us, " It is without
doubt the biggest game I have ever been asked to referee. I was fourth official at last seasons Champions League final between
Porto and Monaco, even got my face on telly when Jose Mourinho scarpered down the tunnel at the final whistle, and I
have reffed a couple of FA Cup semi's but they pale into insignificance when you compare them with the final of the Arthur
Atkinson Trophy. I am honoured". Lets hope Rivett has a better game than the official, who will remain nameless, in charge
when we lost 5-3 to Maze in September. After the man in black had given his pre match talk to captains and linesman,
and asked players to remove any jewellry etc, Chiesa skipper Darren Hodsoll asked for a word... "Len, if possible, we'd like
you to give every 50/50 decision to Maze, call us offside when we are five yards on, ignore our linesman and take notice of
theirs, award the opposition penalties when they admit there was no foul, and send our players off for no reason whatsoever."
"I can't do that" replied Simpson " Well you did last time you reffed us!" retorted wisecracker Hods! Boom Boom!
PS - He then proceeded to do just as we asked anyway - how considerate!
Where's Me Washboard?!
Teams in the Third Division of the Corinthian League have been competing
for the The Arthur Atkinson Cup since the 96/97 season. The trophy was kindly donated by T.Walker on condition that he chose
the name of the competition. Head Honcho's at the league convened at the South Ilford Catholic Club to discuss the issue,
and after much debate, Mr Walker was given permission to name the trophy after his favourite music hall entertainer. The legendary
Atkinson made his name on the 'Fast Show', and is famous for his 'How Queer' and 'Where's my Washboard?' catchphrases. These phrases often
crop up at league meetings when joker Walker uses them to heckle Barrie Fox as he is attempting to make
a serious point about the misuse of corner flags.
LC/DC keeper Mark Harris hasn't conceded a single goal
en route to Thurrock, a record he intends to uphold on the big day. He is also the club statistician, a football anorak
who is fully aware of the history of the AA Cup...
"When I think back to some of the great Arthur Atkinson Cup Finals of the
past, it sends a shiver down my spine" remembered the craziest driver in the South East "Who can forget the classic final
of 1998 between Newline and Romlas? It was a game that had everything! Goals, Bookings, a penalty miss and even a streaker
if memory serves me! Then there was the 2001 final between NYC and Lonsdale - a tense affair but a classic game in it's
own right, with a dramatic twist at the end giving NYC victory - a tragedy for the lads from Lonsdale,
my heart really went out to them. But my favourite Arthur Atkinson moment is actually from the semi final in 1997 when St
Augustines beat Wall End Wanderers in extra time... what a match, but such a shame that Wanderers legendary mangager
Johan Dudeson never got to lead his team out in a Cup Final, the only honour he failed to win in his career."
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We asked Chiesa star Terry Soteriou how he felt about
the prospect of appearing in the Arthur Atkinson Cup...
"Fantastic! I can barely believe it's true' said the full back known
as 'The Stallion', " I was no different to any other a kid growing up - Arthur Atkinson Cup Final day was
always a big event. I'd wake up with butterflies in my stomach, and then about eleven o clock, Cup Final Grandstand used to
come on.You'd see the teams leaving the hotel, there would be special profile on the players, as well as behind the scenes
look at some of the staff who don't always get the headlines. This was punctuated by 'The Road to Thurrock', where you'd see
the upsets and the best goals from each round, before three o'clock and the big event itself. I always wanted to
watch it on ITV because I liked Brian Moore, but my Dad couldn't stand the commercial breaks. I can't believe I am going
to play in the game - I keep pinching myself to make sure it's not a dream!"
“and Smith must score...”
There have been some wonderful games in the Arthur Atkinson Cup down the
years, many ex-pro's fondest memories of their playing days are of taking part in this magnificent competiton.
However, in order for there to be a winner there has to be a loser, and one man in particular suffered more than most due
to the AA Cup - The unfortunate tale of Gordon Smith.... "Gordon was a lovely man, he loved life and he was an extremely
gifted footballer make no mistake about that" recalled a former team mate of Smiths who asked to remain nameless, "But
THAT miss was to have a profound effect on him, and he was never quite the same afterwards....". The miss in question occurred in
the 98/99 Arthur Atkinson Cup Final between Queens and Thameside - Smith was playing wide left for underdogs Thameside
and with scores level and less than a minute to go, he was put clean through with just the keeper to beat... "Smithy looked
the keeper in the eye, gave his trademark shimmy, the commentator yelled the now infamous line, but he sidefooted
horribly wide" continued the former Thameside star,"and with that miss, our chance of glory was gone - we lost
the replay 4-0. Gordon was like a lost soul at the final whistle, nothing we said could cheer him up. When he lost his
form the following season, the fans started getting on his back and he left the club soon after. He had a career
in broadcasting lined up when he retired, but after that match, TV didn't want to know - then his wife left him. When
he quit football he drifted from job to job, players didn't earn the sort of wages you see nowadays, I think
he ran a pub for a while, but it got burnt down. He was mixing with all the wrong kind of people. Last I heard he was
doing oddjobs at the YWCA to pay his keep - what a shame. And all because of THAT miss..."
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About Our Opponents...
Amid the excitement, it would be easy to forget that there is going to
be another team in the final. Maze were formed in 1992when a chance meeting between two football fans ended up with them starting
a team themselves. Denis Flint and Kevin Hagland were on a day trip to Hampton Court with their respective partners, when
they found themselves unable to find their way out. Hagland had been dropping Panini stickers behind him so he could find
his way out, while Flint had been using a similar tactic involving West Ham season ticket stubs. Unfotunately the wind had
blown them all away, and thay had been wandering around aimlessly for hours before bumping into each other and deciding to
start up the greatest football team in the world. Two days later they were out and they decided to name the club after
their harrowing experience. They're good lads and our two previous games with Maze have been action packed affairs, so
lets hope this one is no different!
Adam Jeffers has always got a word or two to say for himself,
no matter what the subject. But get Chiesa's number eight started on the prospect of an Arthur Atkinson Cup Final and
he takes some stopping I can tell you....
"Mustard mate! Absolute mustard!" That was Jeffers response when we asked
him what he thought about Chiesa making the final of the worlds oldest Cup competition "We deserve it for all the hard work
we put in throughout the season man! Down to ten men against May & Bakers for an hour and grinding out a result? That's
the kind of shit that gets you to Arthur Atkinson Cup Finals! I want to follow in the footsteps of cup legends like
Manhattan striker Burt Kvok with his low centre of gravity, and Newline hitman Rog D Coursey - the ultimate
executor of a muggers snatch! Just gutted I didn't get a goal against Stonewood in the semi really. Then I
could've said I'd scored in every round. Bah!"
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