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Highlight of the Season So Far!
At least one member of La Chiesa's squad had a reason to be cheerful
this weekend, as left back and joint top scorer Colin Williams and wife Jo celebrated the birth of their first child. Alfie
Williams weighed in at 8lb 3oz on Saturday morning. We don't have a picture, but rumour has it little Alfie has the same haircut
as his old man already! But what about the left foot??? Congratulations to the Three Williams' from everybody at La Chiesa! (09.12.03)
I'm Not The Only One!
What a crazy world we live in. The art of conversation is dead thanks
to e-mails, text messaging etc. Kids don't go out in streets to play football with an old tin can because they can sit indoors
and play it on the Playstation eating pizza, and getting fat. Talentless wannabes top the charts and overact as if they
are more than one hit wonders... and Sunday morning football teams have professional web sites! Two more teams
in our division have their own sites, two more Net Nerds just like me have the time and dedication to devote their every
waking hour to the cause, and I feel it's only fair that they should be given some exposure by our good selves. Click on the
links below to have a butchers at the 'Esprit' and 'St Augustines' web sites. Maybe I should e-mail my fellow webmasters
to see if they fancy popping down the internet cafe with me one Friday night for a 'cyberchat' with some 'virtual
chicks' via the wonderful medium of the information superhighway! Or we could just look at the pictures... (09.12.03)
Esprit's Website
St Augustine's Website
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La Chiesa In Hunt For England Legend...
La Chiesa Del Corno have joined the race to sign England international
Paul Gascoigne. Although Gazza has been struggling to find a club since leaving Everton two seasons ago, despite spells
with Chinese second division side Gansu Tianma, and Wolverhampton Wanderers, LCDC boss Samuel Knowles feels both
parties could benefit from the former Tottenham and Rangers midfielder hooking up with the Corinthian League 3rd
division outfit. Knowles said this morning, 'We certainly could do with an inspirational figure like Paul Gascoigne
at the club, his personality in the dressing room alone would give us all a lift, and I believe someone who lives
and breathes football as Gazza does would enjoy playing in the stress free environment of the Corinthian League. We have
our fair share of tortured souls at the club and maybe they could help Paul conquer his demons.' Gazza's 'CV' is
published in 'The Sun' today in an attempt to restore him to his former glories. Knowles added that former
West Ham, Celtic, & Northern Ireland keeper Allen McKnight, who has been training with the club, was another likely
transfer target, although it appears he will be used primarily as an outfield player and goalkeeping coach. (16.12.03)
Read The Sun's article on Gazza
Hello Campers!
Memo to all parents in the South Coast area this weekend... LOCK
UP YOUR DAUGHTERS, LA CHIESA ARE IN TOWN! No game for us on the 14th, due to the annual Jolly Boys outing to the Holiday
Utopia that is Butlin's Southcoast World in Bognor Regis. No expense will be spared as the lads rub shoulders with only the
highest class of clientele in the Skyline Pavillion and Harry Ramsdens restaurants, chat up Supermodel lookalikes in Jumpin
Jaks, and are entertained by legendary acts such as 'Mad For It' (Brit Pop Tribute), 'Complete Madness', and 'Bootleg
Slade' in the Centre Stage Entertainment Lounge! Naturally they will all be up at the crack of dawn for a five mile run in
the bracing sea air, followed by an intensive coaching session on the five a side pitch outside the 'Sun And Moon' Pub. Such
professionalism is hard to come by in the Amateur game, but it is no coincidence that we are in the position we are in the
table when you consider this dedication! (09.12.03)
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Christmas is Over (Even If You Want It)
There will be no Christmas Cheer for La Chiesa Del Corno
players this year after manager Samuel 'The Grinch' Knowles booked a two hour block at the Goresbrook Goals Centre
starting at 3pm on the 25th December. A stony faced Knowles, speaking after the latest defeat at Esprit, said "The players
are paid good money to do a job and it is the nature of the industry we are in that the festive period has
to be sacrificed. I apologise to the players families, but we have got to get out of the position we are in, and we can only do
that through hard work and practice. To me, the 25th of this month is just like any other Thursday". (22.12.03)
All We Want For Christmas Is...
Dear Santa,
Hello, our name is La Chiesa, and we play football in
the third division of the Corinthian League, and we haven't won a league match....ever! We have been knocked out of two
cups and didn't have the bottle to take part in the third one. A lot of our players have been injured and some of
the lads don't turn up for training, and it makes us sad. If you could bring us the following gifts for
Christmas we promise to be good for the whole of next year and for ever and ever and ever after...
9 points from our next 3 games
A pair of boots that gets shots on target
A magic sponge that cures any injury
A book on how to change referees minds
Something to stop our players from saying naughty
words
A clone that we can send to League Council
meetings
That should be all for now,
See you on the 25th,
Love from,
La Chiesa xx
(09.12.03)
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