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We Win Sweet FA...
Well, we gave it our best shot, but lachiesa have failed to
get their hands on the holy grail that is the Essex County Football Association Club Website of the Year Award. Despite bombarding
the FA with emails, subtle nods as to the whereabouts of the county's most loved football site, the award went to Colchester
United's Womens side (above), with Southend Borough Combination Veterans League effort getting the league award. The writing
was on the wall when Judge Eric Kershaw announced his criteria..."I was looking for easy to follow menus
with up to date news that's told in a short and to the point way. No-one wants to read rambling descriptions of dodgy refereeing
decisions!" I beg to differ Eric, but each
to their own! He went on to reveal that his Premiership player of the season was Lee Carsley, and that he thought the best
band of all time were The Lighthouse Family. Click below to have a look at the award winning websites...(25.05.04)
Colchester Ladies
Southend Veterans
One For All And All For One...
Now that the season is drawing to a close, and there isn't a lot
going on, it's time to find out just what kind of person reads this banter - a personality test! As the
La Chiesa squad would quite literally die for one another, it's based on a famous story of loyal comrades.
Click on the above link and answer the questions posed to find out which member of 80's cartoon series Dogtanian & The
Three Muskehounds you resemble - I was Dogtanian, naturallment! But, do be honest with your answers, you're cheating no-one
but yourself if you start fibbing just to try and look cool... (21.04.04)
Check out the hilarious www.muskehounds.com
We Believe in Father Christmas!
Unless you're aged seven or under, it's not cool to admit to believing
in Father Christmas. So, back in late 1975, while some of our lads were no more than twinkles in their fathers eyes,
it seemed as though Greg Lake of Emerson, Lake & Palmer had lost the plot with his festive single 'I Believe
in Father Christmas' - surely he was old enough to know better! But, hang on a second, in the dark, desperate days of 2003,
when we were getting beaten fair and square week after week, we wrote a letter to Santa Claus ourselves, remember???...
Dear Santa,
Hello, our name is La Chiesa, and we play football in
the third division of the Corinthian League, and we haven't won a league match....ever! We have been knocked out of two
cups and didn't have the bottle to take part in the third one. A lot of our players have been injured and some of
the lads don't turn up for training, and it makes us sad. If you could bring us the following gifts for
Christmas we promise to be good for the whole of next year and for ever and ever and ever after...
9 points from our next 3 games
A pair of boots that gets shots on target
A magic sponge that cures any injury
A book on how to change referees minds
Something to stop our players from saying naughty
words
A clone that we can send to League Council
meetings
That should be all for now,
See you on the 25th,
Love from,
La Chiesa xx
...I believe! I believe! Keep the faith Greg, lets Prog Rock! (13.03.04)
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That's Very Nice Les!
What a hilarious photo this is! Following our last day defeat at
Woodford we trudged into the pub half heartedly drinking our beers and watching Bolton v Leeds. The mood was sombre, but Dirty
Den's webcam antics were the perfect pick me up - every time the mood got too low, somebody would hoist up 'The People' and
suggest we take a look at Leslie's virtual shenanigans. It worked a treat, and in the end the paper had to be left open at
that page for unlimited giggling. I wonder how Ad Jeffers first goal of 2004/05 will be celebrated???? (21.05.04)
Bloke Walks Into A Pub...
Arsenal's Robert Pires last week revealed what goes on inside the
'huddle' that the Gunners form before every match and celebrate each goal with. The French maestro told national press the
undefeated Champions elect shout 'Together, Together' in order to emphasise the importance of team spirit, Sol Campbell
came up with the idea apparently. The boys at LC/DC perform a similar ritual before each match and are undefeated
since they started to do it. Goalkeeper Danny Hardwick suggested that a hudddle be formed when Skipper Dazzy comes
come back from the toss, and each week a different player tells a joke, the ensuing laughter giving the opposition the
impression we were a confident, relaxed outfit. Last week it was Terry Soteriou's turn. As Hods returned from the centre circle,
and announced we were 'staying as we are', the huddle was formed and Teggsy delivered a corker...
"... I was in a Chinese restaurant last week
and this duck comes up to me with a Red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds" - I said "Waiter, I asked for aROMATIC duck!!!"
Result: 2-1 La Chiesa, long may the victories and laughter continue!
(14.03.04)
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And The LC/DC Player of the Year Is...
...a very close run thing! We asked all the lads to choose their
Player of the Year and a second choice in the event of a tie. An open contest, seven different players received nominations
for the prize (although some were decidedly tactical) and in the event it was a three way dead heat between
defenders John Riley and Terry Soteriou, and goalkeeper Danny Hardwick with four votes each. When the second place votes were
taken into consideration, Hardwick was the winner with three runners up spots compared to two for Riley, and one for Teggsy.
In the time honoured tradition of award ceremonies, the presentation didn't run smoothly......"Unfortunately Danny can't
be with us today as he couldn't be bothered to get out of bed and watch the match, but he has asked me to say
that he'll be round G-Mans in half an hour for a smoke..." Oh well, I suppose he did deserve it, not least for the post
match gags - Well Done 'The Monk'! (21.05.04)
Load Of Blokes Walk Into A Pub...
How did I forget this bit of (true!) banter??? As the lads trudged
into The Chequers following the dismal, inexcusable display at St Augustines back in March, they were surprised to see
Arsenal and England star Ray Parlour and a couple of buddies across the room. We approached 'The Romford Pele' and asked
him to wear one of our, soon to be award winning, t-shirts for a photo. Ray was a real gent, 'No problem', he said, posing
with Adam Jeffers and Darren Hodsell while Samuel Knowles wielded his Nokia. We even let him keep a t-shirt for training!
Cheered us up no end it did, and suddenly that unlucky, wind assisted defeat didn't seem so bad! (04.04.04)
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